tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-148867112024-03-05T18:03:05.232-08:00mikewiseundecidedm.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.comBlogger125125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-31512056847918288832010-06-07T08:59:00.001-07:002010-06-07T08:59:57.242-07:00i haven't said anything because i have nothing to say that i haven't said already.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-88092749886601553852010-04-19T14:28:00.000-07:002010-04-19T15:14:38.216-07:00clean breaksi next blogged my way to someone's blog today, and they had a few posts about their relationships and blunders. of course this grabbed my attention, so i read a few of them. one was about how she tried to casually/nonchalantly contact an old flame (months to years later)just to see if a spark might happen again, and how it didn't work and how it made her feel about herself.<br /><br />this struck a chord with me because lately i've wanted to call/email/text a few different ladies. i've been telling myself that i just want to say hi to someone, or that i want to see what they've been up to, or that since we are friends i just want to catch up with them. and this is all true. but it's all b.s. too. because whether it's right under the surface or buried deep, there's the desire to be with them again.<br /><br />so i'm not going to contact any of them. those relationships are over/done/dead, and i need to leave them that way. that's half of it. the other half is that if any of them contact me for any reason, i need to not jump to conclusions, but take any hi's, or how have you been's, or what's going on's as purely friendly gestures from them. but really, chances are that i won't have to worry about their actions.<br /><br />in the past, i've been able to leave an ended relationship alone. but lately (the last 5 years or so) that's been difficult to do. i'm gonna try to get back to that. i envy that former me. i used to hide/bury/contain my emotions well too. nothing got out. i'm sure that kept alot from getting in too, but the trade-off seems worth it right now. so here's to beginning to close it all down. i wish myself luck.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-44534194107104859252010-04-04T16:14:00.000-07:002010-04-04T16:48:36.706-07:00sundaymaybe it's something that happened to me long ago, that i've repressed, but others can see in me. or maybe it's a gene that in most people is recessive, but in me it's dominant. but i think there is something in me that is driving me to be alone. it's like i can't help it; no matter what course i take, what choices i make, or how much i try, i always end up here. it's like some weird evolutionarry flaw/defect i have, where i like women who don't like me, i don't like women who like me, i ruin relationships that i get into, i get into relationships that i know won't work, and so on and so forth. i don't know what i am doing wrong, but i know i am doing something wrong. or many things wrong. or everything wrong.<br /><br />and i hope you understand that i don't think i am unique. i know there are plenty of unhappy men and women out there who feel very similar to (if not exactly) the way i do. but overall, i think we are a fairly small percentage. most people can make relationships work. most people can be happy with someone for a reasonable amount of time (if not indefinitely). most people can go from one relationship to the next. most people can keep trying until they find one that works. most people have one or more appealing traits that draw the opposite sex to them.<br /><br />but me. maybe i help people feel happy and lucky because they have someone. to know that you could be like me but you're not has to be a great relief.<br /><br />maybe it's my lot in life to be alone. not everyone can be happy after all. equal and opposite forces. yin and yang. i'm not sure that anyone wants to be the sad, alone one. but someone has to be, right!?m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-13947390814658721612010-04-02T15:19:00.000-07:002010-04-02T15:54:34.386-07:00hello future, part 2as i continue my self-imposed (read as = no other alternative) time of searching, reflection, introspection, reevaluation, and change (read as = being alone), i am yet to find peace and/or happiness. i am slightly surprised (masochistically impressed may be closer to the mark) that the course of my life is set in this direction.<br />and i have to get back to work, so i will have to wallow more at a later time.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-54319526786579787132010-03-26T07:51:00.000-07:002010-03-26T07:57:29.700-07:00followers???apparently i have 6 followers. and i know 2 of them. who are the other 4? why do they get to remain anonymous? i sent an email asking 1 of them who they were, but have gotten no response. and i have seen that same persons' icon on other blogs, so i have to assume it is someone i know. tell me who you are, followers, tell me who you are.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-84161207127900576352010-02-28T19:22:00.000-08:002010-02-28T19:34:03.169-08:00alternative viewscan sadness be wonderful? or beautiful? can loneliness be perfect? can songs that make you sad be just what you need? can all of your failures be what makes you great? do you keep a promise, even when it's not relevant anymore?m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-84055183601188193652010-02-04T08:21:00.000-08:002010-02-04T11:20:19.866-08:00LatelyI keep seeing things i want to take pictures of, but keep forgetting my camera. I need to get in the habit of keeping it in my truck (and with a charged battery).m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-44223653813699078132010-01-13T08:41:00.000-08:002010-01-13T08:44:22.077-08:00using my giftsi got a digital camera this christmas (because i asked for one). now i just have to use it. it sounds easy enough.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-18749104217869052622010-01-13T08:29:00.000-08:002010-01-13T08:39:43.827-08:00how sleep affects my blogit's usually at night - when i'm sitting on my sofa or laying in my bed - that i think about my life. and i have this inner monologue go on that i say i'm going to put into my next blog post. and then i go to sleep. and the next morning i think about what i was thinking about the night before, and decide that i shouldn't put those words to paper. and that's why i don't have much to say on my blog. the hours of sleep are similar to 'counting to 10 before saying something'.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-3653585333405610492010-01-04T08:11:00.001-08:002010-01-04T08:11:26.082-08:00it's a new yearlet's see what it brings.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-68243675376229501552009-12-16T11:53:00.000-08:002009-12-16T11:57:12.130-08:00i have no answerssome questions beg to be answered, and others dare you to try.<br />how do people find love? or happiness? or each other?m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-89578240019308952682009-12-04T07:59:00.000-08:002009-12-04T08:10:28.191-08:00hello futurefor the time being (and maybe forseeable future) i announce that i concede to the fairer sex. you know something i don't, and whatever it is you know is keeping the two of us apart. so i will begin a time of searching, reflection, introspection, reevaluation, and change. what will i do, how long will it take, and will it work? those are the first three questions that immediately come to mind.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-31613201614498337482009-11-17T17:21:00.000-08:002009-11-17T17:26:36.896-08:00what the heck, tuesday, why you treat me like this?i have a headache. behind my left eye. is that a migrane, or just a headache behind my left eye? can you get a migrane once or twice? whatever. i took something for it, so hopefully it goes away soon.<br /><br />and then there's my heart. that bastard of emotion. it's acting up again.<br /><br />so eff you, tuesday. hurry up and give way to wednesday!m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-11971551313466048802009-11-11T09:41:00.000-08:002009-11-11T10:00:46.874-08:00here you golately i've been into giving gifts, and i'm not sure why. whether it's presents, knick-knacks, cards, food or drinks, etc. i'm already buying birthday and christmas presents for people, and am searching for things that are a good fit to peoples personalities/wants.<br />so i'm trying to figure out the reason(s) behind this. so far all that i have is that i haven't been good at expressing verbally my appreciation of people (friends, family, co-workers, ...), or my feelings for them, so i'm trying to do it through gifts. this may not be accurate, true, or successful, but so far it's the only reason i have for my new found desire to buy things for people.<br />all i know for sure is that it's not because of my surplus of funds.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-53256566509887563152009-11-10T07:59:00.001-08:002009-11-10T08:03:30.353-08:00what to talk aboutmany of my friends have commented on the 'darkness' of some of my blog posts. and that's how i feel now. but i guess i'll keep it all inside.<br /><br />rainbows, butterflys, unicorns, spring days, skipping, laughing, bright colors, and other happy things.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-89206915602260635212009-11-05T17:14:00.000-08:002009-11-05T17:17:05.070-08:00work work workthankfully it doesn't happen too often, but it looks like i am working late tonight. not too late, but it will be 7pm most likely. i just hope that it will mean tomorrow will go smoothly. go team!m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-31441324445132364412009-11-02T08:29:00.001-08:002009-11-02T11:41:22.684-08:00weekend recapfriday night was 'green eggs & the met', which showed off a lot of dr. seuss' works, and had 3-4 bands playing. i loved it, thought it went well, and look forward to the next event they have.<br />saturday night was a halloween costume party at brians. it turned out well, with lots of people dressing up. i think i ended up being most happy with my drinking mug and all the attention 'senior skull' got (although i did bring him up quite a bit). <br />and sunday was a lot of laying around watching football and baseball.<br />now back to work.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-37825321010723689202009-10-30T14:44:00.000-07:002009-10-30T14:53:19.046-07:00wtfone minute, i have the world figured out. the next, i'm left scratching my head. going from low to high to low takes a lot out of a person. i long for simplicity...and peace...and normalcy. maybe i'm almost there. but right now, at this minute, it feels like a long way away.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-76529305388878593862009-10-26T17:12:00.000-07:002009-10-26T17:39:33.135-07:0050 questionsi haven't posted anything in awhile, and i saw that <a href="http://www.desastreprecioso.blogspot.com/">sara</a> had this on her blog today. so i am presuming that i have permission from her to use these questions (as long as i put my own answers).<br /><br />1. What is the color of your toothbrush? gray and white<br />2. Name one person who made you smile today. elizabeth<br />3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? checking my fantasy football scores<br />4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? sending out bid solicitations to subs<br />5. What is your favorite candy bar? either caramelo or miklyway, or any other candy with caramel in it<br />6. Have you ever been to a strip club? yes, but i was never the instigator<br />7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "the 4th?"<br />8. What is your favorite ice cream? vanilla, or cookies & cream, or chocolate chip cookie dough, or mint chocolate chip, or pralenes & cream, or some other one<br />9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water at my desk, coke at lunch<br />10. Do you like your wallet? i guess, it is nothing special<br />11. What was the last thing you ate? jack in the box (it sounded better than it was)<br />12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? no (or this month, or maybe even this year)<br />13. The last sporting event you watched? in person, a grizzlies game. on tv, football yesterday<br />14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? salty & buttery<br />15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: ed<br />16. Ever go camping? yeah, i like camping<br />17. Do you take vitamins daily? no, but i have them on my counter<br />18. Do you go to church every Sunday? no<br />19. Do you have a tan? up to my shirt sleeves<br />20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? no, but i do like chinese<br />21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? no<br />22. What did your last text message say? the last one i sent said "no monday haiku today?" the last one i recieved said "on our way."<br />23. What are you doing tomorrow? working<br />24. Favorite color? blue i guess<br />25. Look to your left; what do see? piles of paperwork, and a window to the foyer.<br />26. What color is your watch? my cell phone is blue<br />27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? the outback<br />28. Would you strip for money? probably not<br />29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive-thru<br />30. What is your favorite number? 5<br />31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? one of the guys that works in our office<br />32. Any plans today? monday night football and laundry<br />33. In how many states have you lived? 2, california and colorado<br />34. Biggest annoyance right now? car maintenance<br />35. Last song listened to? something by coldplay i think<br />36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i think so, but probably a few letters at a time<br />37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? that's funny<br />38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? white tennies<br />39. Are you jealous of anyone? yeah, a little bit<br />40. Is anyone jealous of you? who knows<br />41. Do you love anyone? yes<br />42. Do any of your friends have children? yes, some<br />43. What do you usually do during the day? work, and think<br />44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? nope<br />45. Do you use the word hello daily? it's possible<br />46. What color is your car? grey/silver<br />47. What size wedding ring do you wear? no wedding ring<br />48. Are you thinking about someone right now? as a matter of fact, i am<br />49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes, quite a few times (though i don't like it as much now)<br />50. How did you get your worst scar? by being stupid and thinking that nothing bad could happen to mem.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-54318158908629514492009-10-16T13:16:00.000-07:002009-10-16T13:23:46.988-07:00friday weatheri have enjoyed that it has been overcast with fog/mist/precipitation in fresno today.<br /><br />coming back from lunch i was listening to the dodger pre-game show, and they said it is 93 degrees in l.a. right now. so i checked weather.com when i got back to the office and see that it is 70 degrees in fresno right now. but it does feel a little warmer than 70 because of the high humidity. but i'm not complaining, october should be 70 (or 60, or 50), not 93.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-88282163081735817282009-10-13T10:13:00.000-07:002009-10-13T10:21:20.070-07:00A New To Do ListAfter careful consideration (and much looking around), I have created a new to-do list. And what's more, I'm going to complete it. I'm two days in, and items are already being marked off the list. My goal is for the list to be completed by Saturday.<br /><br />Granted, the list is only three items long (not really).m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-46683636002163218262009-10-06T11:56:00.000-07:002009-10-06T13:06:38.372-07:00legs of stoneconcerning my fantasy football team losing last night to ed, i have to say that aaron rodgers lost me the game as much as ed's defense won him the game. rodgers looked both lost and oblivious in the pocket last night. i know his weak offensive line didn't help any, but there were many times that he could have thrown the ball away or ran out of the pocket instead of standing there waiting for jared allen to come say hi. if they weren't playing on artificial turf, i would have swore that rodgers had grown out of the field and that's why he was 'rooted' to one spot. oh well, next week brings the chance for someone else on my team to surprise or upset me.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-2128959511095721932009-10-05T15:48:00.000-07:002009-10-05T15:59:02.427-07:00weekend recapthis past weekend was pretty mellow. to be honest, i don't even remember what i did friday night...but i'm sure it wasn't anything extraordinary. saturday one of my friends came up from tulare, so we hung out and got caught up on each others lives before joining ed, brian, and the woody's for drinks. sunday i went to ed's to be enveloped in his nfl sunday ticket package thru direct tv. then i went home and watched the chargers alllllllmost pull off an awsome comeback against the steelers.<br />in other weekend news, i didn't do laundry like i should have. and i didn't go grocery shopping like i needed to.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-12965584726814619712009-10-01T10:28:00.000-07:002009-10-01T10:31:33.544-07:00it's not that cold, is it?last night i used a blanket for the first time since last winter. it was nice. i sleep with the windows open and a fan on in my room, so with the last 2 days of cool weather it's actually gotten cold at night. i like the cool/cold weather. so bring it on fall and winter. bring. it. on.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14886711.post-64137646435818745322009-09-29T11:48:00.000-07:002009-09-29T12:00:51.958-07:00commercials<a href="http://ckuffy.blogspot.com/">carrie</a> has recently posted on some commercials that she currently can't stand. since 1/2 to 3/4 of commercials fall into that category for me, i thought i'd bring up one that currently makes me laugh. this might change depending on how many times i see it.<br /><br />it's a head and shoulders commercial with troy polamalu. troy comes off of the field, and he has all this hair, and a reporter asks him a question about the game. he glances at troys hair once or twice as he asks it. so troy starts talking about his hair. the reporter might ask him one more question, with troy again talking about his hair. so then the reporter says to him, "i didn't ask you about your hair." to which troy says, "you aksed with your eyes, trent. you asked with your eyes." then he runs off screen.<br /><br />it may not be very funny to anybody else, but it makes me laugh when i see it.m.wisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09134751068295513988noreply@blogger.com5