Wednesday, December 16, 2009

i have no answers

some questions beg to be answered, and others dare you to try.
how do people find love? or happiness? or each other?

Friday, December 04, 2009

hello future

for the time being (and maybe forseeable future) i announce that i concede to the fairer sex. you know something i don't, and whatever it is you know is keeping the two of us apart. so i will begin a time of searching, reflection, introspection, reevaluation, and change. what will i do, how long will it take, and will it work? those are the first three questions that immediately come to mind.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

what the heck, tuesday, why you treat me like this?

i have a headache. behind my left eye. is that a migrane, or just a headache behind my left eye? can you get a migrane once or twice? whatever. i took something for it, so hopefully it goes away soon.

and then there's my heart. that bastard of emotion. it's acting up again.

so eff you, tuesday. hurry up and give way to wednesday!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

here you go

lately i've been into giving gifts, and i'm not sure why. whether it's presents, knick-knacks, cards, food or drinks, etc. i'm already buying birthday and christmas presents for people, and am searching for things that are a good fit to peoples personalities/wants.
so i'm trying to figure out the reason(s) behind this. so far all that i have is that i haven't been good at expressing verbally my appreciation of people (friends, family, co-workers, ...), or my feelings for them, so i'm trying to do it through gifts. this may not be accurate, true, or successful, but so far it's the only reason i have for my new found desire to buy things for people.
all i know for sure is that it's not because of my surplus of funds.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

what to talk about

many of my friends have commented on the 'darkness' of some of my blog posts. and that's how i feel now. but i guess i'll keep it all inside.

rainbows, butterflys, unicorns, spring days, skipping, laughing, bright colors, and other happy things.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

work work work

thankfully it doesn't happen too often, but it looks like i am working late tonight. not too late, but it will be 7pm most likely. i just hope that it will mean tomorrow will go smoothly. go team!

Monday, November 02, 2009

weekend recap

friday night was 'green eggs & the met', which showed off a lot of dr. seuss' works, and had 3-4 bands playing. i loved it, thought it went well, and look forward to the next event they have.
saturday night was a halloween costume party at brians. it turned out well, with lots of people dressing up. i think i ended up being most happy with my drinking mug and all the attention 'senior skull' got (although i did bring him up quite a bit).
and sunday was a lot of laying around watching football and baseball.
now back to work.

Friday, October 30, 2009


one minute, i have the world figured out. the next, i'm left scratching my head. going from low to high to low takes a lot out of a person. i long for simplicity...and peace...and normalcy. maybe i'm almost there. but right now, at this minute, it feels like a long way away.

Monday, October 26, 2009

50 questions

i haven't posted anything in awhile, and i saw that sara had this on her blog today. so i am presuming that i have permission from her to use these questions (as long as i put my own answers).

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? gray and white
2. Name one person who made you smile today. elizabeth
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? checking my fantasy football scores
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? sending out bid solicitations to subs
5. What is your favorite candy bar? either caramelo or miklyway, or any other candy with caramel in it
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? yes, but i was never the instigator
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "the 4th?"
8. What is your favorite ice cream? vanilla, or cookies & cream, or chocolate chip cookie dough, or mint chocolate chip, or pralenes & cream, or some other one
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? water at my desk, coke at lunch
10. Do you like your wallet? i guess, it is nothing special
11. What was the last thing you ate? jack in the box (it sounded better than it was)
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? no (or this month, or maybe even this year)
13. The last sporting event you watched? in person, a grizzlies game. on tv, football yesterday
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? salty & buttery
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?: ed
16. Ever go camping? yeah, i like camping
17. Do you take vitamins daily? no, but i have them on my counter
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? no
19. Do you have a tan? up to my shirt sleeves
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? no, but i do like chinese
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? no
22. What did your last text message say? the last one i sent said "no monday haiku today?" the last one i recieved said "on our way."
23. What are you doing tomorrow? working
24. Favorite color? blue i guess
25. Look to your left; what do see? piles of paperwork, and a window to the foyer.
26. What color is your watch? my cell phone is blue
27. What do you think of when you hear “Australia”? the outback
28. Would you strip for money? probably not
29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive-thru
30. What is your favorite number? 5
31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? one of the guys that works in our office
32. Any plans today? monday night football and laundry
33. In how many states have you lived? 2, california and colorado
34. Biggest annoyance right now? car maintenance
35. Last song listened to? something by coldplay i think
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i think so, but probably a few letters at a time
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? that's funny
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? white tennies
39. Are you jealous of anyone? yeah, a little bit
40. Is anyone jealous of you? who knows
41. Do you love anyone? yes
42. Do any of your friends have children? yes, some
43. What do you usually do during the day? work, and think
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? nope
45. Do you use the word hello daily? it's possible
46. What color is your car? grey/silver
47. What size wedding ring do you wear? no wedding ring
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? as a matter of fact, i am
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes, quite a few times (though i don't like it as much now)
50. How did you get your worst scar? by being stupid and thinking that nothing bad could happen to me

Friday, October 16, 2009

friday weather

i have enjoyed that it has been overcast with fog/mist/precipitation in fresno today.

coming back from lunch i was listening to the dodger pre-game show, and they said it is 93 degrees in l.a. right now. so i checked when i got back to the office and see that it is 70 degrees in fresno right now. but it does feel a little warmer than 70 because of the high humidity. but i'm not complaining, october should be 70 (or 60, or 50), not 93.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A New To Do List

After careful consideration (and much looking around), I have created a new to-do list. And what's more, I'm going to complete it. I'm two days in, and items are already being marked off the list. My goal is for the list to be completed by Saturday.

Granted, the list is only three items long (not really).

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

legs of stone

concerning my fantasy football team losing last night to ed, i have to say that aaron rodgers lost me the game as much as ed's defense won him the game. rodgers looked both lost and oblivious in the pocket last night. i know his weak offensive line didn't help any, but there were many times that he could have thrown the ball away or ran out of the pocket instead of standing there waiting for jared allen to come say hi. if they weren't playing on artificial turf, i would have swore that rodgers had grown out of the field and that's why he was 'rooted' to one spot. oh well, next week brings the chance for someone else on my team to surprise or upset me.

Monday, October 05, 2009

weekend recap

this past weekend was pretty mellow. to be honest, i don't even remember what i did friday night...but i'm sure it wasn't anything extraordinary. saturday one of my friends came up from tulare, so we hung out and got caught up on each others lives before joining ed, brian, and the woody's for drinks. sunday i went to ed's to be enveloped in his nfl sunday ticket package thru direct tv. then i went home and watched the chargers alllllllmost pull off an awsome comeback against the steelers.
in other weekend news, i didn't do laundry like i should have. and i didn't go grocery shopping like i needed to.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

it's not that cold, is it?

last night i used a blanket for the first time since last winter. it was nice. i sleep with the windows open and a fan on in my room, so with the last 2 days of cool weather it's actually gotten cold at night. i like the cool/cold weather. so bring it on fall and winter. bring. it. on.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


carrie has recently posted on some commercials that she currently can't stand. since 1/2 to 3/4 of commercials fall into that category for me, i thought i'd bring up one that currently makes me laugh. this might change depending on how many times i see it.

it's a head and shoulders commercial with troy polamalu. troy comes off of the field, and he has all this hair, and a reporter asks him a question about the game. he glances at troys hair once or twice as he asks it. so troy starts talking about his hair. the reporter might ask him one more question, with troy again talking about his hair. so then the reporter says to him, "i didn't ask you about your hair." to which troy says, "you aksed with your eyes, trent. you asked with your eyes." then he runs off screen.

it may not be very funny to anybody else, but it makes me laugh when i see it.

Monday, September 28, 2009


a couple of weeks ago i went to my cousins wedding. it was nice. she looked great. it was in the bay area. yada yada.
this last weekend my sister got married down in visalia, and it all went great. she looked great. my parents looked great. i looked great. that's right, i looked great (this was according to my grandma though, so i don't know how biased it was). the ceremony and reception were outside, so it was a little warm until the sun went down. they had an open bar, so the dance floor stayed full. my dad danced some, which made me laugh. and i got to talk to a lot of friends and family during the evening, which was nice.
i was impressed with all of the major vendors they used: the photographer/videographer, the emcee/dj, the bartenders, the cook/caterer. they all did great jobs, and they helped the whole night go well. i was the only person there drinking 7&7's, so i didn't have to worry about them running out. there were only a few people who drank a little too much, and thankfully they didn't make any scenes, and left quietly. the family of the groom were quite the dancers. i'm not saying that they were good dancers, but they sure got out there and danced. and they smoked...while they danced. it was funny watching them bob/twist/gyrate with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, or a cloud of smoke above their heads. and one of them who was dancing quite a bit and having a really good time split his white pants (that's right, white pants), but i don't remember if that stopped him from dancing.
i might have left out one or two highlights (not on purpose), but in summary the wedding went really well. my sister was happy with how everything turned out. and my parents were happy with how everything turned out.

Friday, September 25, 2009

truck horn

so one of the guys at work was leaving for lunch, and he asked if we wanted to hear his train horn. being a little confused, i said yes. so we walk outside and he gets in his truck and hits the horn. and it is a genuine train horn. he bought it from amtrak for $400, when it normally sells for $1,000. but it was crazy; an actual train horn on his truck. all i could think about was the damage he could cause in traffic (or on the road in general) if someone made him mad and he used it.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

he was right...again

adam knew that balmy means: mild and refreshing; soft; soothing. i did not. i was under the impression that it meant hot/muggy. but now i know.

he was proved right last night at landmark, but i wanted to give him props here today too.

i'm sure i'll still doubt him from time to time in the future; i'll just be wrong more often than not. here's to future disagreements.

Monday, August 31, 2009

100 words for my 100th post

different sides of the same story:
forlorn, blue, desolate, numb, undone, cheerless, miserable, meloncholy, lost, downcast, hurt, alone, anguished, insignificant, sad.
unwise, foolish, witless, stupid, absurd, laughable, lacking, senseless, ridiculous.
allow, resign, consent, accept, give, tollerate, concede, surrender, take, relent, endure.

i've made up my mind so many times
saying [to myself] that i would,
(or would not) do something.
and i never follow through.

but today is new. my resolve is strong.
it's the beginning of the end.

the gulf will widen. my voice will become faint.
i will allow myself to be forgotten.
then peace will take root.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

no chance

things i need to do today, tomorrow, or this weekend...but i know i'm not gonna do:
1 dishes
2 laundry (maybe)
3 wash my truck
4 pay a bill or two
5 get a new cell phone
6 buy pants and shirts
7 stop by the post office
8 stop by a friends house to say hi
9 go grocery shopping

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

comments on a movie, but not really a review

so i went to see the new harry potter movie this past weekend. and it rocked. i had tried to keep my expectations low (partly because i didn't like the 5th movie all that much), so as the movie went on my smile grew wider and wider. i appreciated how much of the book the movie captured, and also some of the subtle ways it deviated from it. but i'll need to see it a time or two more before i can confirm my early approval of it (and maybe write a review). but i did laugh/chuckle a few times, and in one scene (i don't remember which...really) something was said or done that made me grin. the kind of grin that you try to hide or wipe off your face, but you just can't. so, in conclusion, i liked it, want to see it again, and will see it again. and i already look forward to the two movies that will tell the story of the final book. and i'll probably start reading the series again sooner than i figured i would. maybe i'll try to read the lord of the rings series first. yeah, that's what i'll do. bilbo and frodo, you're next. but before i do that, who want's to go watch harry potter with me?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

my place

i guess like all things, i go up and down, swing left and swing right. my apartment is a good example. it's clean, it's dirty. i'm happy with it, i hate it. currently, it's a mess. a big mess. the kind of mess that would keep me from having anyone over (i say would because i don't have anyone over in the first place). there's clean laundry and dirty laundry. clean dishes and dirty dishes. mail and papers on this table, and mail and papers on that table. clothes on the floor, clothes in the dresser, clothes on top of the dresser. it needs to be vacuumed, it needs to be dusted, the bed needs to be made, the bathroom needs to be made to sparkle (the kitchen too). we'll see how far i get this weekend.

Monday, June 22, 2009

it's official

i received my first sunburn of the summer on saturday. one of my buddies just had a pool built, and i went swimming on saturday. and of course i wasn't smart enough to put sunscreen on, so i will pay for it for the next three/four/seven days.
i went miniature golfing too on saturday eveining, and a girl. she whooped up on me and another one of my friends, but i made a hole-in-one on the last hole and won a fee game of golf. so that was sweet.

Friday, May 22, 2009

no title

do you ever do something for so long, that you can't imagine it being otherwise? even if you want it to be? an object/event/situation/relationship in motion tends to stay in motion. i can say that i want something/someone to be in my path in order to help me change (a little or a lot, for the worse or for better), but don't actions speak louder than words? than intentions? than hopes, dreams, and desires?

because it would seem that my actions say otherwise. why am i 32 and still single? why did i never pursue a career? why don't i travel the way i say i want to? why this? whay that? why the other? i wonder how my life will end up turning out? saying/thinking this, i assume some people will think or wonder why i don't take charge and make something happen. make something change. make. do. pursue. be proactive. but i don't think i'm that kind of guy. at least i'm not that kind of guy right now.

so what do i do? what should i expect? can a light just come on, and a change occur? can a desire or drive just well up inside me? can a spontaneous personality change just happen one day?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

where in the world is mike wise charlie...

...i would like to be at the coast. but i'm not. i'm here in fresno. i guess the bright side is that it could be worse.

i was just thinking this afternoon, so i figured i would try to put some of those thoughts in this post. and then i will look back and see how successful i was.

i was fondly remembering the few friends that i've had throughout the last 15 years or so that i could have serious, close-to-the-heart, put it all out on the table discussions/conversations with. how wonderful is it (usually noticed/comprehended/appreaciated after-the-fact) to be able to bare a part of yourself to someone (no matter how big or small) when it stays hidden to the rest of the world. to expose that secret. to confess that fear. to voice that opinion. to proclaim whatever it is that you proclaim. to show that person a part of your soul/heart/mind that allows them to know you in a special way from there on out. it tweaks your friendship/relationship/whatever just the tiniest bit. but that's all that needed to happen to procure the change.

i look forward to the next time something like this happens to me, and the next person it happens with. not that i'm sending out invitations to have a heart-to-heart talk, or that the next time i have a conversation with one of my friends that it needs to be life-changing. because i think that part of what makes it work, and what makes it special, is the natural, out-of-the-blue way it usually happens. you don't go searching for; it just happens...i think?

back to my original thought (i think). i feel like i've been alone too long. some/many/all of the things that i would have shared over the last 1, 2, 5, 10 years have been thrown on the shelf, waiting to be released into the trust of someone else. but now there are so many of these things inside of me that some are lost, some are broken, some are lost inside of others, and some have had time to build up walls around themselves...making them harder to get to. and now i've lost my train of thought. so i guess this post is complete.

Friday, April 10, 2009

good looking out, mom

i called my mom the other day to ask what everyone was doing for easter. my dad is working, my brother is working, my sister might be working. so nothing is happening for easter. my mom says she is going to ride along with my dad. feeling a bit lonely, i say that maybe i will ride along too. and to this, my mom says, "i don't think you'll like that". slightly confused, i ask why i wouldn't like that. and she says, "do you want to have your dad ask you questions all day"? no i don't. good looking out, mom, good looking out.

Monday, March 30, 2009

living la vida loca

no i'm not. but apparently i am still alive. i watched pulp fiction at the movies last thursday with ed, adam, and kari (hopefully that is how she spells her name), and that was alot of fun. i house sat/dog sat for some friends this last weekend. so there you have it, still alive.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


what have i been up to lately? not much.

Monday, January 12, 2009

we'll see what the future holds

i think i'm done for now. no need to look here again. it probably won't change for a while.

Friday, January 09, 2009

more fail

it's not just relationships i guess. i feel like i fail at everything.
and who doesn't want a guy who has that attitude?
form a line ladies, let's keep it civil.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009


i was thinking about all of the relationships that i've failed at.
it's a long list.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009