Monday, April 19, 2010

clean breaks

i next blogged my way to someone's blog today, and they had a few posts about their relationships and blunders. of course this grabbed my attention, so i read a few of them. one was about how she tried to casually/nonchalantly contact an old flame (months to years later)just to see if a spark might happen again, and how it didn't work and how it made her feel about herself.

this struck a chord with me because lately i've wanted to call/email/text a few different ladies. i've been telling myself that i just want to say hi to someone, or that i want to see what they've been up to, or that since we are friends i just want to catch up with them. and this is all true. but it's all b.s. too. because whether it's right under the surface or buried deep, there's the desire to be with them again.

so i'm not going to contact any of them. those relationships are over/done/dead, and i need to leave them that way. that's half of it. the other half is that if any of them contact me for any reason, i need to not jump to conclusions, but take any hi's, or how have you been's, or what's going on's as purely friendly gestures from them. but really, chances are that i won't have to worry about their actions.

in the past, i've been able to leave an ended relationship alone. but lately (the last 5 years or so) that's been difficult to do. i'm gonna try to get back to that. i envy that former me. i used to hide/bury/contain my emotions well too. nothing got out. i'm sure that kept alot from getting in too, but the trade-off seems worth it right now. so here's to beginning to close it all down. i wish myself luck.

8 comments:

bgrant said...

this is insane lol..i left my blog and hit next and found yours. funny this is your topic. why, you may ask. i have been in contact with an ex for the past 2 years and we have been broken up for about 13 years. and it is truly a sticky situation. with what i have experienced in the last 2 years (even tho i am glad we are friends) i have found that sometimes its better to leave well enough alone. i applaud you for being honest about your feelings and intent with all this and whether you realize it or not you have helped me. i guess after reading your post i know that it is best that he and i keep it cool and close that off lol. i tell u what...you have a new follower lol

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Oden said...

Do a friend request on facebook that is innocent enough.

Konstantine + Chrysanthemum said...

Well, I'll tell you one thing... I clicked next blog too today to find yours helping me out through a similar situation. I think your right about not contacting them. Remember, you left them in the first place for a reason, and you're probably going to leave them again for the same reason (or vice versa). Anyways I suppose this is my open rant.

>'-'< meow!
Konstantine + Chrysanthemum

SingleLatinaMama said...

Excellent topic... definitely something i have thought about many times being single for two years now! :O

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