Monday, January 07, 2008

Why i hesitate

Now, i'm not talking about this to offer excuses...this is just how i feel. They may not be appropriate or logical reasons...but they are my reasons.
I'm turning in an application for an apartment today, and i'm nervous. I may have less-than-perfect credit and i may be poorly qualified, but i don't like that someone is going to tell me that. I let these fears and feelings affect me too much. I may get the apartment. My credit score may be better than i think. But this man who i do not know, who i may never even see again, gets to look into my life and make a decision about me...and i don't like that feeling at all. Control. I like to be in control, and in this situation i am not in control.
I was going to move on to other situations/circumstances/parts of my life, but i've changed my mind and am going to stop here.

6 comments:

George said...

Where is the apartment? Is the move connected to the discussion a while back about moving to the Tower?

edluv said...

you know mike, i'm pretty sure that your current apartment would have also looked into this stuff. or at least checked something.

did you have to pay for your credit check? when i lived in an apartment up north (not my first choice) they actually had us pay $25 each for the credit check. that sucked.

but i'm glad you turned it in. you did turn it in right?

but i understand what you're saying, as far as having someone look into your life without knowing you. that's part of what stopped me applying for a grant. i didn't want to put a bunch of work into the proposal just to have someone say, no, not good enough.

Adam said...

As you've seen, I feel the same way about my application to grad school. Seems like everywhere you turn, someone is judging you, for whatever reasons.

I'm glad you turned it in though. I hope you get it. It'll be good to have another friend in the neighborhood.

Adam said...

Oh, and dang it. I missed being the 1000th hit. shoot.

m.wise said...

Yes, George, I've wanted to move to the Tower. So when this place came available, it seemed like a very good choice.
Yes, Ed, I've turned it in. Now I'll just sit and wait. And there is no application fee, so he just needs to decide if he thinks I'll pay the rent every month on time. I hope he realizes that I will.

edluv said...

it's so strange. you have a job. you currently live in an apartment and have paid rent there. before that, you lived in another apartment and paid rent. seems to me that this would work the same way.

really, how long have you been out of your parent's house? quite some time.

are you going to call the guy and check on the status? i know it seems like more work, but usually i tried to call and see where i was at, let them know i really liked the place and wanted to move in, etc.