bad habbits

we all have bad habbits, right? one that i constantly battle with is biting my fingernails. i've always done it - i'm sure it has to do with my early childhood or something like that. my parents used to put the peppery tasing nail polish on them, but i would chew right through that. i might have gotten punished and spanked (i can't remember); but i always bite my nails.
at different times, i have tried to not bite them. i've gone for weeks, a few times i've gone months, but i always end up defeated. i'll be three weeks in, trimming them and keeping them looking good, and then i'll be watching a movie or something and before i know it i've chewed half of my nails down to nothing. then i give up and move to the other hand and say that i'll try again some other time.
i am currently trying to not bite my nails. five or six days in, so far so good. so when we are hanging out and you see me start to bite my nails, i give you permission to hit me/kick me/make fun of me/throw something at me (not your drink, ed)/or remind me that i'll never become an asternaut or president if i bite my nails.

filling free time

so, most of my evenings are free most of the time. on these free evenings i'm either watching tv or a movie, or reading a book. like with 99% of things in life, if you do them long enough they get old. what can i do to bring new life to my evenings? i have two possibilities that i will expound on, but i would also be grateful to hear from you, my friends, your suggestions.
my possibility #1 is to work out (this would mean either getting a gym membership or using my apartment complex's gym, if they have one). before i decided to hurt myself while riding a motorcycle, i used to work out 3-4 times a week - and i loved it. so, riding a stationary bike and possibly lifting weights would be a good way to waste away part of multiple evenings, and a great thing for my body. and i know you all want me to have a good looking body; you don't have to say it, i know.
my possibility #2 is to take an evening class at city college. i'm thinking some type of history class, or art history/appreciation, or something else. it would be a credit/no credit type class that would be fun to take by myself, but more fun to take with a friend or two.
other suggestions/ideas/possibilities?

holiday travel

i think i am going to spend christmas in the bay area with my dad and step-mom this year. so i'll leave friday evening or saturday morning, and come back christmas afternoon/evening. i try to alternate from year to year between the bay area and visalia, but it's hard to want to keep doing this. why is it hard? because i am lazy. because i like sleeping in my own bed. because i'm closer to my mom than my dad. because i hate traffic and am easily annoyed by other drivers. because gas is expensive.
so i guess i'll see my parents down here for christmas before or after. i know some people wanted to do a holiday potluck dinner, but i am doubting that it will happen now.
on a separate note, i hear that someone might have a new years party...allegedly. i might have to crash it. i'll even dress up to blend in if i have to. we'll see.

Let's go to the snow sometime

I really enjoy the image of snow on trees, in meadows, on hills and mountains, frozen lakes and streams, roofs covered in snow with chimneys smoking. It makes the landscape look new, young, pure and beautiful. I'm ready to look on a scene like that. Whether it's going for a long drive into the mountains, staying the night somewhere, or playing in the snow for the day.
My eyes are tired of cars and roads and houses and clutter and trash and people and tv and dirty air and flourescent lights and the city. I want to see beauty, nature, wilderness, the end of a year turning into the begining of another. I can smile just thinking about it (and it's not even a clear picture). I need a clear picture, so it can sustain me for a little while.

Bears vs. Raiders

Sunday, November the 11th, two of my friends (Ed and Josh) took me to a NFL game to celebrate my upcoming birthday. I am a Chicago Bears fan, and I live in California, so this game was picked. We had good seats, not great seats, but good seats (why pay $100-$1000 for a "great" seat). The game was slow, low scoring, and dull...until the last 5 minutes. The Raiders kick a field goal to go up 6-3, and obnoxious Raiders fans went crazy. But the Bears scored on a long pass from Rex Grossman (who came into the game because the starter was injured) to Fresno State's own Bernard Berrian, and were up 10-6. The Bears caused a Raiders fumble, went on offence, and Cedric Benson ran for a touch down to put the Bears up 17-6. The Raiders then moved down the field in the final minute, attempting to score...only to be intercepted in the corner of the endzone (right where our seats were) to end the game. Go Bears!

Pooch Parade

I went to the pooch parade on Saturday with Adam, Ed and Heather. It was kinda fun. There was a fair number of dogs (50-75 is my guess, maybe higher). Around half of these were in costumes. Most of these costumes did nothing for me, but I was looking at the dogs themselves more than the costumes. And I'd have to say that most of these dogs weren't attractive (this may be mainly due to my bias towards some breeds). There was a bulldog that I liked, a rhodesian ridgeback that Adam pointed out to me that I would have liked to see without its costume, and a weiner dog or two that were cool. But most of the dogs were ugly, shaggy/dirty, mutts, or just not my style.
And seeing these dogs helped me to appreciate the dog I had growing up (a rottweiler) and the dog my parents have now (a german shepherd). My rottweiler (brandi) was very pretty, and a great dog. And my parents dog (max), who is about 8 months old now, is a good looking dog that is going to look like the typical german shepherd.
I did see a few rottweilers at or around the pooch parade, and none of them were good looking. I don't recall seeing any dobermans or german shepherds. There was another big dog there that I got just a glance of, but I don't remember what breed it was.
There may have been a lot of good looking dogs show up after we'd left the parade. And a lot of people that have cool/good/neat/good looking dogs just didn't participate in the event. But it would have been nice to see better looking dogs there.
So next year all of the people that have the 'cool' dogs and the 'good looking' dogs need to bring them out to the parade.

Who am I? Who are you?

The other day my boss (who knows I like The Office) brought in some office supplies with Dwight Schrute on them that he got at Target and had them displayed on my desk when I came in. I thought it was cool and I plan on using them. But then he and one of the girls in our office were talking and then it comes up that they want to start calling me Mike Schrute. I laughed. I even said they could if they wanted to. But now I'm wondering what they see about me or my personality or something else that makes them see Dwight Schrute when they see me??? Maybe it's because I too am "faster than 90% of all snakes."
Is there something about me that is clearly Dwight? What about Jim? Or Michael? Or so on... What about you? Are you a Jim, or Dwight, or Angela, or Pam, or Kelly Kapoor?
You can be one of these people for any number of reasons-good or bad, exactly or vaguely. Or you can be more than one of these people, or parts of many of them.
So...connect people (old or current - friends, family, coworkers) to these characters. You can give reasons or explainations if you want to.
Michael Scott - Jim Halpert - Dwight Schrute - Pam Beesly - Angela - Andy Bernard - Karen Filapelli - Stanley - Kevin - Phyllis - Merideth - Toby - Ryan - Kelly Kapoor - Jan Levinson - Oscar - Roy (warehouse) - Darryl (warehouse) - Creed Bratton - Todd Packer - or someone else.
I will take a page from Lefty's three questions and leave my answers in the comment section (once I work out who is who).

two cars crash, and then...

last night i was coming back from a friends place after watching the office, and there was a car accident ahead of me. i was on ashlan heading towards clovis, just at the 168 freeway. a truck was turning to get onto the freeway and a car ran a red light and hit right into him. so i go through the light and pull over and get out to check on the people. both airbags had deployed and both vehicles were pretty messed up. nobody seemed hurt too bad, so i call 911 as people are getting out. so i tell the operator where the accident is and that nobody seems badly hurt. she asks me to see if anyone wants an ambulance. i figure that nobody does, but the guy in the truck that got hit says that he would like one. i'm just finishing up with 911 when a chp arrives, followed shortly by fresno pd. so they start going though their routine and one asks me what i saw and if i'd asked for an ambulance and so on. so they take down my information and statement and say i can go (just as the ambulance arrives). so i leave.
as i'm continuing home, i'm thinking over what happened and what i did and whether i did a good job or not. my conclusion is that i had just barely acheived average.
-I assumed people weren't hurt bad because they got out of their cars on their own.
-I didn't check to see if there was anyone else still in the cars (babies, dogs, dead people).
-I assumed an ambulance wasn't necessary, but someone wanted one.
-I felt bad for not talking to any of the people while waiting for the police (to comfort them or give them moral support).
-And I gave the police a fake name and number. not really.
but i figure i'll do better next time. then i got home, hopped in bed, and thanked God it wasn't me this time.

The War on PBS

The War is a documentary of World War II by Ken Burns on PBS that I have been trying to watch. I know there have been at least 6 episodes so far and I've seen 3 or 4 of them. I think that they are done very, very well. Some of the photos and "video" they show are chilling and moving. It's like a history book come to life in a way none of my history books ever did. I'm not sure what night new episodes air, but I think you can see reruns of previous episodes other days.
I know Adam was looking forward to watching this documentary. I wonder if he has been? I would recomend it to anyone who likes history or would like to learn more about the war than what a high school text book would teach them.
On a separate note, there was also a documentary on baseball on PBS, but I don't know if it is still running, or if it was done by Ken Burns. Each episode covers a 10 year period, and I saw the 1890's, 1900's and 1910's. I thought they were great. I enjoy baseball history, and it was neat learning about all of these baseball pioneers that modern players are always put up against.
I thought of buying the box set of both of these documentaries, but they seem too pricy for me. For The War, they were offering different packages but they were all over $100 (like $180, $250 and $350). I didn't see or hear how much the Baseball box set was, but I assume it was similar.

for e, the lover of bats

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/09/070918-flying-fox.html

e, you were the first person i thought of when i came across this article (maybe because you are the only person i know who likes/loves/enjoys bats).
hopefully this link works.

picture memories

i have been coming across a lot of cool pictures lately. on peoples computers. on blogs. on website. on tv shows. and it makes me want to learn how to take pictures and then take pictures. i am a visual person, so pictures are powerful for me. i assume i can buy a decent camera for a few hundred dollars, so that part of the equation would be fairly easy. and if i didn't want to take a class, i'm sure a little practice would be enough. then, if i ever do go somewhere cool/fun when my friends invite me, i'll possibly be able to take some cool pictures. then i'll just have to learn how to put them up on my blog. but i'm sure my friends can help me with that when the time comes.

places to go

I don't know how many of you that live in the Central Valley enjoy nature and going cool places, but I'd like to go somewhere in the next month or so. I was watching PBS last night (or maybe Sunday night) and there was a very interesting show on this national park in Croatia that is made up of a series of cascading waterfalls and lakes that have a high lime concentration that builds natural dams, creating new pools/lakes (Plitvice Lakes National Park). It was real cool; and it looked awsome (especially in winter). I'm not saying Croatia is where I want to go (I don't have too much extra money floating around). But there are some cool 'natural wonders' not far from us that would be fun to go see. Yosemite National Park, Sequoia National Park, Point Reyes National Seashore (by S.F.), Death Valley National Park, Muir Woods National Monument (by S.F.) and more; as well as many good museums, missions,forts, galleries, theatres, etc.
Maybe some of you have good recomendations or could be tour guides. Or there might be some place that you would love to go to, but haven't yet. But I would like to do something/go somewhere that would be a one or two day event/excursion.

Dare me, I'll save your life!

I just got CPR certified today. It took about three and a half hours when it easily could have taken one and a half. It was one of those things where it was nice to waste a friday afternoon; but then I have so much to get done that it brings stress to the rest of your day/week. But now the week's over. And I'm good to go. Let the saving of lives begin!

a meme, from someone else's brain, to mine, to who knows who

Ok. I was tagged to post a meme. I feel like Sally Fields at the Oscars, "You like me. You really like me!"
Here are the rules:
Post eight (8) random facts about yourself.
Tag other people to follow suit.

1. when i was young (hopefully very young), i would pee the bed sometimes. during this time i watched the facts of life, and in one episode arnold (the little kid) was having a discussion with his white dad about wet dreams. so i went to my mom, happily, and said "mom, maybe that's it. i'm having wet dreams." (without laughing or doing anything to make me feel dumb) she said, "no. i don't think that's it." it wasn't until later in life that i understood what wet dreams are. so it turns out that all i was doing was peeing the bed.

2. when i was in 6-8th grades, i used to steal change out of my moms purse in order to buy ice cream at school. i tried to take only a nickel or dime at a time, or a quarter if she had a lot, thinking this would keep her from finding out. who knows if she knew or not.

3. when i was young, i used to spend the summers with my dad. at this time he lived in santa maria (by pismo beach). and one time, my dad, his best friend, AND ME, went to pirates cove, a nude beach in that area. they kept their shorts on...and so did i. but i remember them playing frisbee with topless girls and naked (fully), wrinkled old people walking hand-in-hand down the beach. ah, memories.

4. the first girl i ever made out with was at a christian summer camp (i'd maybe been a christian for a few months) the summer between freshman and sophomore year (so i was about 14.5). for the longest time I could remember her name. but not now. but i do have fond memories of that week.

5. my grandpa on my moms side gave me my first pocket knife. it was so cool. i felt like a man...at six or seven years old. my second pocket knife was from my dad (step-dad), in my stocking at christmas. it wasn't a locking blade. so when i held it blade down and tried stabbing something (i don't remember what), it closed on my hand, cutting my pinkie almost to the bone. aside from feeling nauseous, i was scared that i was going to be in big trouble (or have my knife that i'd owned for about an hour taken away from me). (once again thinking i was sly), i played it off as being cut by something under a lay-z-boy chair my dad and i moved later that morning.

6. the first dog i had was a rottweiler named brandi. i had her for many years. she was a great dog; and i miss her. i hope that the next dog i own is close to being as good as she was. if i had a drink in my hand right now, i'd pour a little out in honor of her memory.

7. i used to be pretty fast. from elementary school up to 7th grade i was the fastest kid in my class. and from then thru high school, i was still reasonably fast. football, baseball, soccer, basketball, volleyball, beach volleyball, catch, frisbee, tennis and more. i loved to do it all. and i did it all. now i watch it, or watch others do it. or hope someone throws the frisbee or ball right to me so i don't have to move for it. luckily i never thought i was going to be a world-class athelete.

8. i really enjoy martial arts (kung-fu) on tv or movies. i used to love to watch saturday afternoon kung-fu. my mom used to tell me to go outside and play. but if i had a choice, i would stay in and watch kung-fu.

I tag...anyone who is left. I think the six people that read my blog have either already memed or have been tagged to do so. But, if there is someone I am unaware of, direct me to your blog through the comment section of this post, and do this meme yourself.

That's right

I watched Waterworld last night. Not 'cuz I had too, but because I chose to. How do you like those apples?

To Do List

I haven't talked to my dad and step-mom since before Fathers Day. I've meant to...but haven't. He works nights, and that is part of the problem. The other part is that I haven't made a good enough effort to call at a good time. I do feel bad, but I don't give in to guilt too easily (which would shame me into doing things sooner). Maybe today will be the day.

What 'chu talk'n 'bout, Cricket

Sometime this morning, as I was walking from an office in the back up to my office, I came across a cricket on the ground. It was laying on its back flailing its legs about. So I kick it gently to move it into the 'flower bed' (which is full of bark, small plants and trees that have grown almost as tall as it will be possible for them to grow inside.), which allowed it to turn over and go on its way. As soon as I had shown him this mercy the thought came to me that this could well be the same cricket that was making all the noise a few weeks ago. Well, I figured that the chirping would soon begin...but it didn't. So I say "Thank you Cricket. Thank you for not making me wish that I had killed you."

House Parties

I had a fun time this last weekend at a house party in Fresno. Others that I am friends with had fun too.

uhhh, excuse me

Last night I'm sitting on my sofa watching the San Francisco Giants play baseball, hoping that Barry Bonds will hit a home run when there is a knock on my door. My first thought is "little kids selling candy". It wasn't little kids selling candy. I answer my door and there are two girls outside, both in their mid-20's. One was mildly attractive and the other was not. We stare at each othe for a few seconds. Then the first girl reaches out her hand to shake mine and says that her name is Melina (or something like that) and this is her sister (don't know if she said her name). So I shake her hand and say hi, and then we stare at each other for a few seconds. Melina says, "I'm here to collect (or we're here to collect, don't remember)". And I think to myself "But I don't get the Fresno Bee". It was not for the Fresno Bee. Melina says, "It's $150 for an hour and $75 for a half." (I still don't know if she was to take the money and leave and the other girl would stay...or if they both stayed. My mind was swirling at the time.) So I shake my head and say something like "not me". Melina says "this is the right place" and the other girl says "maybe I should call him again (or call him back)". So I say my street number and apartment number and "I didn't call anybody". Melina looks a little confused/perturbed and they start to walk into the courtyard while the other girl gets out her phone. I then lock my door, close my blinds that look into the courtyard, and sit down on the sofa to resume watching the game. Barry Bonds hits a homerun an inning or two later. That's right, Barry Bonds hit a homerun last night.

Travel Plans

A lot of my friends have been traveling lately. One to the East Coast for part of the summer. One to Florida with his girlfriend for a week or so. One to parts of Europe for most of the summer. And some just went to Las Vegas for a fun weekend with friends. And I've stayed put for all of it. I like to travel. I'd like to go to many of these places. So why don't I (I ask myself)? The easy answer is money. Either I don't have enough to go on some of these trips. Or if I went on some of these trips it would mean missing work - and thus missing money. But there has to be more to it than just money because for years (10, 12, 15 or so) there has always been some reason why I couldn't/didn't go on trips. But to find an answer(s) means that I would have to go looking for an answer(s). And I don't want to do that. Why? Because I'm not a big fan of looking into my past, or into my mind/heart/soul. Maybe I just don't know how. It is much easier to push things away or gloss over them and move on to something different. I've thought of going to therapy before; to see if someone could help me help myself. But I've thought of doing MANY, MANY things. And they usually don't get past that stage. How do I take the next step? What is the next step? I'll have to work on that and then re-evaluate this topic. But I'm the type of guy who is open to suggestions or help. So feel free. Just remember that my ego is fragile, so be thoughtful about what you suggest.

an army of one

at my office, there is an indoor forest (atrium?) and for the past three days there has been a cricket chirping. on the first day, one of the girls i work with said the chirping was driving her mad. so i tried to distract/scare/drown it by watering the the plants and trees. that seemed to work. for that day. the second day the cricket was back, but laying low, only chirping every once in a while. then this moring, feeling refreshed and rejuvinated he (the cricket) was back at it...strong! so my intercom beeps, and one of my bosses voice says "which one of you is going to kill that cricket". he was joking, and serious, but it doesn't matter because i think the cricket heard. because i don't think i've heard him since.

Fantasy Football

So on Monday I created a fantasy league on X-box for Madden 2007. My team sucks.
But creating that team got me in the mood for "real" fantasy football. I've been in a league with a few friends for three years now (i think 3) and it has been a blast. So we are approaching a new year of fantasy football (middle of september) and I can't wait.
On a different note, I've actually enjoyed watching baseball this season...maybe because the hallowed homerun record is close to being broken. But come on football!

More to come?

Will this be the only post I ever have on my blog or will I actually try to do this? I don't know, so you don't know.